To start of, the first inequality is not correct for all possibilities of n, say for example $n = 2$, then $2! = 2$ and $2^{\frac{2}{2}} = 2$, the strict inequality also doesn't work for $n=1$. So either use a non strict inequality or define it only for $\forall n \in \mathbb{N}: n > 2 $. If you propagate the non strict inequality in the rest of your proof then the steps you take are as far as I know correct.
Secondly, if you want to use the first inequality you will have to prove it, by proving it you would have noticed that it doesn't work for these smaller values. You can try proving the first inequality by thinking about what both sides of the inequality look like when written in full. I won't spoil the proof for that, but if you have trouble finding it you can always ask follow up questions in the comments.
To answer the second question it depends, if you are just writing the proof for yourself it would be sufficient to just write this to check if you're proof works. But if you're writing this for an assignment or an exam or a paper or anything else than a scribble on paper more text with clarification of what you're doing would always be better to write a clear proof. If a proof is correct in all steps that doesn't make it a good proof, a good proof should be as clear as possible for the reader. Also the third expression could also be split for a clearer proof in the form of first showing the inequality then showing the limit and reffering to those in your Squeeze theorem. E.g. using the found inequality we apply the Squeeze theorem wich results in...
Good luck!