I am too old to learn all the "how do you do this or that in mathematics", but I still want to understand the "why is this or that the way it is in mathematics".

I loved mathematics in my youth, but had to give it up to pursue a career in nursing as I needed the money to raise my family. I would tell people that I wanted to help people, but, honestly it was just the money. Nursing is very draining and the few moments that make it rewarding are few and far between.