As others have pointed out, it is important to justify that $6 \mid q^2 \Rightarrow 6\mid q$. And it isn't totally clear from your proof.
I suggest the following.
First show that $\sqrt{6}$ is not an integer. It's not difficult to do that. Since $4<6<9$, it follows that $2<\sqrt{6}<3$ and that means that $\sqrt{6}$ is not an integer.
Now assume that $\sqrt{6}$ is a rational number, $\frac{p}{q}$ where $p$ and $q$ are co-prime positive integers and $q>1$.
Now you can write
$$6=\frac{p^2}{q^2}$$
$$\Rightarrow 6q=\frac{p^2}{q}$$
It is clear that the left hand side is an integer. But the right hand side isn't since $p^2$ and $q$ share no common factors.
So this equality can not hold. And $\sqrt{6}$ can not equal $\frac{p}{q}$.
So it has to be an irrational number.
There's an incredibly short proof of this if you know the rational root theorem. Just notice that $\sqrt{6}$ is a root of the monic polynomial $x^2-6$. The proof is almost immediate.
EDIT: Here's a messy justification of why $q$ does not divide $p^2$. Let $p=\prod {p_i}^{x_i}$ and $q=\prod {p_j}^{y_j}$ such that $x_i$ and $y_j$ are positive integers. This notation is incredibly informal but it gets the message across.
Now since $p$ and $q$ are co-prime, $p_i\neq p_j$ for any $i$ & $j$. Now $p^2=\prod {p_i}^{2{x_i}}$. Notice that $p^2$ has the same prime divisors as $p$. Since $p$ and $q$ share no common prime factors, it follows that $p^2$ and $q$ share no common prime factors.
That means $q\nmid p^2$.