The first elementary reason you gave covers all domains of the form $\mathbf Z[\sqrt{d}]$, if you phrase things in the right way.
Let $d$ be an integer that is not a square in $\mathbf Z$. (I am allowing $d$ to have a square factor, e.g., $d = 8$ or $12$.) The number $d$ is a square in $\mathbf Z[\sqrt{d}]$: $d = \sqrt{d}^2$. What are all the integers that are not squares in $\mathbf Z$ but are squares in $\mathbf Z[\sqrt{d}]$?
A general element of $\mathbf Z[\sqrt{d}]$ is $a+b\sqrt{d}$, where $a, b \in \mathbf Z$.
Since
$$
(a+b\sqrt{d})^2 = a^2 + db^2 + 2ab\sqrt{d},
$$
if an integer $m$ is $(a+b\sqrt{d})^2$ then the term $2ab\sqrt{d}$ must be $0$, so $a = 0$ or $b = 0$. Having $a = 0$ makes $m = db^2$ and having $b = 0$ makes $m = a^2$. The integers $db^2$ with $b \not= 0$ are not squares in $\mathbf Z$, while the integers $a^2$ are squares in $\mathbf Z$. We have proved the following result.
Theorem. The set of integers that are not squares in $\mathbf Z$ but are squares in $\mathbf Z[\sqrt{d}]$ is $$
\{db^2 : b \in \mathbf Z, b \not= 0\}.
$$
All such integers share the same sign (namely the sign of $d$) and the least such integer in absolute value is $d$. So we have reconstructed $d$ from $\mathbf Z[\sqrt{d}]$ by a ring-theoretic property: $d$ is the least integer in absolute value that is not a square in $\mathbf Z$ but is a square in $\mathbf Z[\sqrt{d}]$. Thus different $d$'s lead to nonisomorphic rings $\mathbf Z[\sqrt{d}]$.
Remark. You wrote at the end of your post that you don't consider the value of the discriminant to be a ring property. You need to appreciate discriminants more: they distinguish orders in all quadratic fields from each other and that is the standard way to prove they are nonisomorphic rings. When you work with rings that are finite-free $\mathbf Z$-modules, their discriminants are important numerical invariants even though they are not defined for all rings.