There's a very nice proof which uses Poincare-Hopf which you can think of as a generalization of hairy ball. It says that the Euler characteristic is equal to the number of zeros (counted with "index") of a tangent vector field with isolated singularities. If $X$ is a topological group, take a nonzero vector at the identity and generate a vector field on $X$ by translating it around (pushforward) by the (transitive) left group action. Thus, any topological group has a nonvanishing tangent vector field, and must have Euler characteristic 0 i.e. a torus. Actually, if you only care to show that the sphere isn't a group, you just need that you can find a nonvanishing vector field and use hairy ball instead of Poincare-Hopf, but this actually gives something much stronger. But note, this proof works in arbitrary dimension (to show a topological group has 0 Euler characteristic)! In fact, the same translation trick shows any topological group has trivial tangent bundle.
To prove Poincare-Hopf, there's a neat argument with "charges" that I first saw in Thurston's book on 3d geometry and topology. There's also a nice argument that a section of the tangent bundle of $X$ is a section of the normal bundle of the diagonal in $X\times X$, and hence corresponds to an "infinitesimal deformation". The index of a vanishing point is the multiplicity of the intersection, and it now becomes an intersection theory problem.