I find your explanation and example incomprehensible, so I can't tell you whether your ideas are correct. However, since you're looking for a proof that swapping rows changes the sign of the determinant that uses your definition, here is one such proof.
Suppose we permute the rows of $A$. That is, we would like to compute $\det M$ where $m_{ij} = A_{\tau(i),j}$ for some $\tau \in S_n$. We can state that
$$
\det(M) = \sum_{\sigma \in S_n} \operatorname{sgn}(\sigma)a_{\tau(1),\sigma(1)} \cdots a_{\tau(n),\sigma(n)}.
$$
We can rearrange each product in the sum so that the row-indices appear in increasing order. Note that in the term corresponding to a given choice of $\sigma$, $\tau(i)$ is the row-index corresponding to the column-index $\sigma(i)$. Thus, $i = \tau(\tau^{-1}(i))$ is the row-index corresponding to the column-index $\sigma(\tau^{-1}(i))$. So, we can rewrite the sum as
$$
\det(M) = \sum_{\sigma \in S_n} \operatorname{sgn}(\sigma)a_{i,\sigma(\tau^{-1}(1))} \cdots a_{n,\sigma(\tau^{-1}(n))}.
$$
We can now reindex this sum. Note that $\{\sigma \circ \tau^{-1} | \sigma \in S_n\} = S_n$. So, if we take $\pi := \sigma \circ \tau^{-1}$, then we can rewrite this sum as
$$
\det(M) = \sum_{\pi \in S_n} \operatorname{sgn}(\sigma)a_{i,\pi(1)} \cdots a_{n,\pi(n)}
\\= \sum_{\pi \in S_n} \operatorname{sgn}(\pi \circ \tau)a_{i,\pi(1)} \cdots a_{n,\pi(n)}
\\= \operatorname{sgn}(\tau) \sum_{\pi \in S_n} \operatorname{sgn}(\pi)a_{i,\pi(1)} \cdots a_{n,\pi(n)}
\\ = \operatorname{sgn}(\tau) \det(A).
$$
So, we can indeed include that if $\tau$ is a transposition (i.e. a switch of two rows), then $\operatorname{sgn}(\tau) = -1$ and $\det(M) = -\det(A)$ as desired.
For your $3 \times 3$ example: suppose we swap rows $2$ and $3$. Then the sums I write in my proof can be expanded as
$$
\det(M) = a_{11}a_{32}a_{23} - a_{11}a_{33}a_{22} + \cdots\\
= a_{11}a_{23}a_{32} - a_{11}a_{22}a_{33} + \cdots\\
= -a_{11}a_{22}a_{33} + a_{11}a_{23}a_{32} \\
= -[a_{11}a_{22}a_{33} - a_{11}a_{23}a_{32} + \cdots].
$$
I suspect that this is the kind of thing you were trying to convey with your example.