EDIT: See bottom of this post for a complete resolution of my question.
I am posting this as an answer purely for reasons of space in responding to the comments above.
First, let me begin by quoting verbatim (as it exists as of 6am UTC June 22 2019) the relevant portion of the proof of Proposition 3 referenced above:
there exists $n\gt 0$ such that $x^n\in G_{c+1}$. Moreover, since $G_{c+1}/G_{c+2}$ is abelian, by Lemma 2 we have that $[x^n,g] \equiv [x,g]^n\pmod{G_{c+2}}$. But since $G_{c+1}/G_{c+2}$ is abelian, $[h,g]\equiv 1$ if $h\in G_{c+1}$. Since $x^n\in G_{c+1}$, then $[x,g]^n \equiv [x^n,g] \equiv 1 \pmod{G_{c+2}}$
Here $G$ is nilpotent, $c$ is an arbitrary natural number, $G_{\bullet}$ denotes the lower central series, and there is an assumption of finite generation by torsion elements. However, these facts are not cited at all in the portion of the argument above. Since I am trying to crystallize my understanding of the argument, I abstracted away the details of the situation as follows.
Let $H=G_{c+1}$. The only two properties of the objects used in the argument are, in order of appearance:
- $x^n\in H$
- $H/[H,G]$ is abelian
(Note that these two properties are both reiterated twice in the quote above.)
I observed that if $H$ is an arbitrary normal subgroup of any group $G$, then $[H,G]$ is a normal subgroup of $H$, and moreover $H/[H,G]$ is abelian. Indeed, to see that $[H,G]\subseteq H$ it suffices to observe that $[h,g]=h\cdot h^g\in H$ for all $h\in H$ and $g\in G$, since $H$ is normal. Then, observe that $[h,g]^s=[h^s,g^s]\in H$, again by normality of $H$. Since $[H,G]$ is generated by elements of the form $[h,g]$, it follows that $[H,G]\trianglelefteq H$. Finally, $H/[H,G]$ is abelian since for all $h,h'\in H$ we have that $[h,h']\in [H,G]$ and thus we have the equality of cosets $hh'[H,G]=h'h[H,G]$.
Consequently my model of the situation satisfies all the explicit claims made in the above argument. However (thank you for pointing out an explicit counterexample Derek Holt) the deduction made by the above quote (which in my notation is $[x,g]^n\in [H,G]$) is incorrect. Derek Holt further suggests that the key property left unstated in this argument is that the relevant commutators are central. Indeed, such a hypothesis is necessary in order to apply Lemma 2 in the argument, although it is never justified. Thus, my question apparently reduces to the following:
Why is $[x,G]\subseteq Z(G)$ in the context of Proposition 3?
EDIT:
The discussion in this thread allowed me to construct a solution of the desired form. I had missed a key condition when formulating the abstract form of the argument, which now reads as follows.
Claim. Let $N\trianglelefteq G$ be a normal subgroup of a group $G$ and let $x,g\in G$ be elements satisfying $[x,g]\in N$. Then for
all $n\geq 0$, $$[x,g]^n\in [N,G][x^n,g].$$
Proof.
Using $[x^n,g]=x[x^{n-1},g]x^{-1}[x,g]$ and induction, we have that $[x^n,g]\in N$ for all $n\geq 0$. The same identity also yields that
$$
[x,g]^n=\prod_{i=1}^{n-1}\bigl[[x^i,g],x\bigr]\cdot [x^n,g].
$$