I can't say much about the notation, other than since it is used so frequently, it is probably a good idea to keep track on the ideal you are dividing by. Hence $R/I$ gives you more information than $R/\sim$ at first sight. But this is just my take on this, it would be nice to know the historical reasons.
As for the definition, I can offer you some motivation. One disclaimer, though: I am far from knowledgeable in this topic. This is just how quotient rings were presented to me, and I find it to be interesting, if anything. Surely people here can add some more enlightening reasons as to why we study this construction.
After defining what a ring and a ring morphism are, and looking at some examples, one may ask the following question:
Let $I \subset R$ be a subset of a ring. When is $I = \ker f$ for some morphism $f : R \to S$?
Let's look at necessary conditions first: let $I$ be such that $I = \ker f$ for some $f: R \to S$. Now if $a,b \in I$ and $r \in R$,
$$
f(a+b) = f(a) + f(b) = 0 + 0 = 0
$$
and $f(ra) = f(r)f(a) = 0 = f(a)f(r) = f(ar)$. So necessarily we get $a+b, ra, ar \in \ker f = I$ and so any such $I$ needs to be closed under summation and absorb products.
Are these to properties enough to conclude that $I$ is the kernel of some morphism?
If $I$ were the kernel of some function $f$, then in particular for any $a \in R$ we should have
$$
f(a+I) = f(a) + f(I) = \{f(a)\}.
$$
Rephrasing this, if $a,b \in R$ differ only by an element of $I$ then their image via $f$ should be the same, in the following sense: if $a = b + i$ with $i \in I$, this is equivalent to $a-b \in I$. And in that case,
$$
f(a) = f(a-b + b) = f(a-b) + f(b) = f(b)
$$
because $a-b \in I = \ker f$. So a natural idea would be to group elements of $R$ depending on whether they 'differ by an element of $I$ '. Concretely, we define the relation $a \sim b \iff (a-b) \in I$. This is seen to be an equivalence relation from the properties of $I$, and we always have a canonical mapping from $R$ to the classes of $R/I := R/\sim$ (which I will interchangeably note $[a]$ or $a+I$) via
$$
\begin{align*}
\pi : \ & R \to R/I \\
& r \mapsto r + I
\end{align*}
$$
So far $R/I$ has no ring structure, since $\pi$ always exists as a function between sets (for any equivalence relation, actually). But $R$ is a ring, so maybe we can make sense of $R/I$ as a ring itself. In effect, with a bit of work, one can show that this is the case, by defining
$$
[a] + [b] := [a+b] \text{ and } [a] \cdot [b] := [ab].
$$
with $[0]$ and $[1]$ as identities. These could be ill defined, meaning that different representatives of a class could give different results, but it is not the case: I will prove so for summation, and I'll leave you to complete the other: if $a \sim a'$ and $b \sim b'$, we have
$$
[a']+[b'] = [a'+b'] = [a+b + (a'-a) + (b'-b)] = [a+b] = [a]+[b],
$$
since $(a'-a),(b'-b) \in I$. In particular, with this structure $\pi$ is a ring morphism.
Okay, we have seen that $I$ needs to have some special properties, and that these motivate $R/I$. This is all assuming that $I$ is the kernel of some morphism, but so far there is no indication that this should be the case: in particular, we need to have a suitable ring $S$ as the codomain, which in principle should be related to our subset $I$. Well, we do have one newly constructed morphism at hand, and this one seems to do the trick: if $a \in R$, then $a \in \ker \pi$ if and only if $\pi(a) = [0]$. That is $a \sim 0$, or equivalently, $a = a -0 \in I$. This concludes the answer to our question:
Proposition. A subset $I$ of a ring $R$ is the kernel of some morphism $f: R \to S$ if and only if $I$ is an ideal.
I hope this at least motivates why one would make such a construction: ideals are closely related to kernels, and kernels appear everywhere naturally, because they are intrinsic to morphisms between rings.