Consideration without any computation
See this post where I explain how in general you have 3 real degrees of freedom when mapping one conic to another. From your third condition you know that you have two fixed points, accounting for two of these degrees of freedom. From the second point you know that the two intersection between the $y$ axis and the parabola (one of them at infinity) must map to the two intersections with the circle. If one maps to one then the other will map to the other thanks to the symmetry of the setup. But which maps to which is open, so you have 2 choices.
Computation with homogeneous coordinates done right
If you want to stick to your approach, but take homogeneous coordinates into account the right way, you get something like this:
$$
A(1:1:1)=(a+b+c):(d+e+f):(g+h+i)=1:1:1 \\
\Rightarrow\quad a+b+c=d+e+f=g+h+i\\
A(-1:1:1)=(-a+b+c):(-d+e+f):(-g+h+i)=-1:1:1 \\
\Rightarrow\quad -a+b+c=d-e-f=g-h-i
$$
for the two fixed points and
$$
A(0:0:1)=c:f:i=0:\pm\sqrt2:1 \\
\Rightarrow\quad c=0, f=\pm\sqrt2i \\
A(0:1:0)=b:e:h=0:\mp\sqrt2:1 \\
\Rightarrow\quad b=0,e=\mp\sqrt2h
$$
In total you count $2+2+2+2=8$ linear equations, enough to determine all variables up to a common factor which is without geometric relevance. You see the two cases in the $\pm\sqrt2$ there. Strictly speaking this is just expressing your third condition and the pointwise version of the second.
Verifying the map between conics
That the resulting transformation $A$ indeed maps the parabola to the conic is probably best verified in a final step:
$$A^T\cdot\begin{bmatrix}1&0&0\\0&1&0\\0&0&-2\end{bmatrix}\cdot A
=\lambda\begin{bmatrix}2&0&0\\0&0&-1\\0&-1&0\end{bmatrix}$$
In other words, if you put a (preimage) point $p$ into the quadratic form of the parabola on the right hand side of the equation, it is zero if and only if the transformed point $Ap$ makes the equation of the circle zero, i.e. the central matrix on the left.
A concrete solution
For readers who need a concrete solution to help understand the above, here is one. But don't cheat your learning experience by just copying that!
$$A=\begin{bmatrix}a&b&c\\d&e&f\\g&h&i\end{bmatrix}=\begin{bmatrix}4\mp2\sqrt2&0&0\\0&4\mp3\sqrt2&\pm\sqrt2\\0&3\mp2\sqrt2&1\end{bmatrix}$$
For completeness: Why considering the whole line is no good
You could also express the second condition literally. The line $1:0:0$ (i.e. $1x+0y+0=0$) is to remain fixed. Lines are mapped using the inverse matrix, or equivalently the adjugate which is eqivalent up to an irrelevant factor. You have
$$\operatorname{adj}(A)=\begin{bmatrix}
ei-fh & ch-bi & bf-ce \\
fg-di & ai-cg & cd-af \\
dh-eg & bg-ah & ae-bd
\end{bmatrix}\\
\operatorname{adj}(A)(1:0:0)=ei-fh:fg-di:dh-eg=1:0:0 \\
\Rightarrow\quad fg-di=dh-eg=0
$$
So this gives only two conditions, not four as what we got above from mapping explicit points on that axis. What is worse is that the condition is no longer linear. The condition for mapping the parabola to the circle written above is also quadratic in $A$, and if you use the general line equation you need that condition in full. So on the whole I'd rather avoid this approach and instead stick to the points of intersection.