This question is context dependent. There are many metrics which can be put on $X \times Y$, many of which give homeomorphic, or uniformly homeomorphic, or Bi-Lipschitz metric structures. For example, you could write $d''((x_1,y_1),(x_2,y_2)) = d_X(x_1,x_2) + d_Y(y_1,y_2)$. This spaces $(X \times Y, d')$ and $(X \times Y, d'')$ are homeomorphic, uniformly homeomorphic, and bi-Lipschitz. That is, $d' \leq d'' \leq 2 d'$. So they are both, in some way, perfectly good metrics to put on $X \times Y$.
Let me give a criterion which forces us to cook up the $d'$ you give. If $(U,d_U),(V,d_V)$ are metric spaces, say that $f:U \to V$ is short if $d_V(f(u_1),f(u_2)) \leq d(u_1,u_2)$. Note that if $f$ is short, bijective, and if $f^{-1}$ is short, then $f$ is an isometry; i.e. $d_V(f(u_1),f(u_2)) = d(u_1,u_2)$ for all $u_1,u_2 \in U$. Say that a metric space $(V,d_V)$ is the product of metric spaces $(X,d_X)$ and $(Y,d_Y)$ if there exist short maps $p_X : V \to X$ and $p_Y : V \to Y$, called projection maps, such that, if $(U,d_U)$ is a metric space, and $\phi_X : U \to X$ and $\phi_Y : U \to Y$ are short, there exists a unique short map $\psi : U \to V$ such that $\phi_X = p_X \circ \psi$ and $\phi_Y = p_Y \circ \psi$. If $(U,d_U)$ and $(U', d_{U'})$ are products of $X$ and $Y$, with projection maps $p_X,p_Y,p'_X,p'_Y$ respectively, then there exists an isometry between $U$ and $U'$. Indeed by definition there exists a unique map $\psi : U \to U'$ such that $p_X = p'_X \circ \psi$ and $p_Y = p'_Y \circ \psi$, and a unique map $\psi' : U' \to U$ such that $p'_X = p_X \circ \psi'$ and $p'_Y = p_Y \circ \psi'$. We then have $p_X = p'_X \circ \psi = p_X \circ \psi' \circ \psi$, and similarly $p_Y = p_Y \circ \psi' \circ \psi$. But there exists a unique $\eta : U \to U$ such that $p_X = p_X \circ \eta$ and $p_Y = p_Y \circ \eta$, and one candidate for $\eta$ is $\text{Id}_U$, so $\psi' \circ \psi = \text{Id}_U$, and similarly $\psi \circ \psi' = \text{Id}_V$, giving an isometry between $U$ and $U'$. This justifies calling $U$ the product of $X$ and $Y$.
I claim that $X \times Y$ with the metric you gave, i.e.
$$d_{X \times Y}((x_1,y_1),(x_2,y_2)) = \max(d_X(x_1,x_2),(y_1,y_2)),$$ is the product of $X$ and $Y$ in the above sense, with $p_X$ and $p_Y$ the standard projection maps. Indeed, let $(U,d_U)$ is a metric space, and let $\psi_X : U \to X$ and $\phi_Y : U \to Y$ be short. Then if $p_X \circ \psi = \phi_X$ and $p_Y \circ \psi = \phi_Y$, we must have $\psi(u) = (\phi_X(u),\phi_Y(y))$. Note that $\psi$ is short:
$$d_{X \times Y}(\psi(u_1),\psi(u_2)) = \max(d_X(\phi_X(u_1),\phi_X(u_2)),d_Y(\phi_Y(u_1),\phi_Y(y_2)))$$
$$ \leq d_U(u_1,u_2),$$
since $\phi_X$ and $\phi_Y$ are both short.