In the past I have only been driven to learn mathematics to stand on the top of my class but after I started programming in python I realized the importance of mathematics and it's beauty. After passing high school I had a determination to learn mathematics all the time realizing all I could do with mathmatics that I learnt over the past 17 years was addition, subtraction, division and multiplication.
Yes, I learnt calculus, I learnt theorems of limit, I learnt linear programming and statistics when I was in high school but the real mathematical ideas were not presented in the high school study. It was more of a horse race, if you back down on the 'parrot- study', you lose your future. So, I did it along with all others. I don't understand the most base concept of mathematics and I want to learn.
As I've mentioned above, I have only 4 skills in mathematics addition, subtraction, multiplication and divisions.
How can I self-study my way for maths but a complete understanding of the subject.
I did find a book that I thought I would try, was an open content by Thomas w. Judson, but after learning a few pages I found out it required knowledge of matrices. After acquiring a book on matrices(linear algebra), and reading a few pages it said it required calculus. And I thought a similar problem would round up.
So how should I start the very first brick in mathmatics after all these years?
Sorry, if this question sounds pathetic, while I know similar questions have been asked It isn't specific towards this one. If you think of closing it as an off topic question please provide a link that I could ask elsewhere because I've already inquired in the places I could besides in websites and am unaware of other sites that involve such question and answering interaction.