Don't think of a group as a abstracted vector space. When you drop commutativity, you end up with objects that behave very differently from vector spaces.
The heuristic that I use is that if an operation is not commutative, then the operation should be thought of as function composition. If it is commutative, then it should be thought of multiplication, like numbers. So if we restrict to abelian groups, it turns out that they actually do behave a lot like vector spaces. Indeed, abelian groups are modules over the ring $\mathbb Z$, and vector spaces are modules over a field $k$ (usually $\mathbb R$ or $\mathbb C$). I like to think of abelian groups sort of as counting numbers, but where you can consider torsion. A commutative ring, to me, is a collection of functions, where the multiplication operation is multiplication of the outputs (think of $k[x]$, the set of all polynomials with coefficients in a field $k$, or $\mathbb Z$). A non-commutative ring is a collection of functions, where the multiplication is function composition (think $M_{n\times n}$, the collection of all $n\times n$ matricies, or the collection of all linear transformations from a vector space of dimension $n$ with basis to itself).
So if groups are like composition of morphisms (eg. functions), but the morphisms have to be invertable, then we are thinking of a collection of isomorphisms (eg. bijections). Indeed, if we look at a category (eg. all vector spaces and linear transformations between them, or groups and group homomorphisms, or sets and functions), and we look at all of the isomorphisms of an object, then that will satisfy the axioms of a group. In fact, an alternative way of describing a group is as a category with one object, and all isomorphisms are isomorphisms. To me, this is the definition of a group, because it tells you exactly what a group is for. And what is an isomorphism? It is a way of transforming an object, such that you can always reverse that transformation. A symmetry.
To cure the feeling of arbitrariness, it might be good to have examples. So we already have $Aut(X)$, the collection of automorphisms on $X$ (isomorphisms from $X$ to itself), and from that we get the symmetric group $S_n$ (automorphisms (or permutations) of a set with $n$ elements), and $GL_n(k)$, which is $Aut(V)$, where $V$ is an $n$-dimenstional $k$-vector space. Then we have useful subsets of automorphisms, like $SL_n(k)$, invertible matrices with determinant 1, and $A_n$, the collection of even permutations on a set with $n$ elements. We also have for a field extension $K/k$ (think of taking a field k and adding in some elements to get a bigger field, like take $\mathbb R$ and add in the solution to the equation $x^2 + 1 = 0$ to get $\mathbb C$) we have the automorphisms that fix the underlying field $k$, $Aut_k(K)$, which comes up in Galois theory, where you are looking at permutations of roots of polynomial equations (like complex conjugation will swap the roots of the above polynomial while keeping $\mathbb R$ fixed).
I do sympathize with you. Group theory really shouldn't be taught first in a course in abstract algebra, because all the important examples of groups come when you've seen a bunch more theory, so the whole thing comes off as fairly unmotivated. If you read Visual Group Theory by Carter, you might be able to get some motivation, especially if you look at the last part on Galois theory. Galois theory is really powerful, and solves all sorts of interesting problems that were long unsolved before the invention of Galois Theory. Problems like the impossibility of squaring a circle or of trisecting an angle with straightedge and compass, and of a formula for solving quintic equations using only radicals (as in, a quadratic equation, but for degree 5 polynomials). This last one vitally uses properties of the group $S_5$.