I realise that this question is over a year old, but thought I will answer it nevertheless to solidify my own understanding.
The Weingarten map is intricately linked with quite a few notions. One way is that it can be looked at as the Derivative of the Gauss map. For example if $ \mathbf{n} : M \to S^2$ is your Gauss map, then the derivative $D\mathbf{n}(x)$ at any point $x \in M$ is a linear map
$$D\mathbf{n}(x) : T_x(M) \to T_{\mathbf{n}(x)}(S^2)$$
But the codomain in the last statement is again $T_x(M)$. Now this $D\mathbf{n}(x)$ denoted as $S_x$ is termed the Weingarten map at $x$. This gives for any $Y,Z \in T_x(M)$, the bilinear form $S_x(Y,Z) = \langle S_xY, Z \rangle $.
The latter map is what helps define the shape operator for a surface. It is a symmetric linear operator as one can easily observe.This is quite easy to visualise for 2-d surfaces in $\mathbb{E}^3$ as this would give the variation of the normal field w.r.t a tangent vector at $x$. In other words the Weingarten map serves to describe the extrinsic properties of a surface.
There is more that can be said in terms of the relation to the second fundamental form and also about the symmetry. More importantly there is a nice generalisation of this for Riemannian Manifolds. But I hope this suffices.
Edit: As for your last question, I think its just due to the traits of linear operators and Lagrange multipliers. But I am not sure. Maybe someone else could illuminate a bit more on that topic.