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I understand how hybridization works but have trouble understanding it conceptually. I understand that for bonds to form, the electrons must be in orbitals with equivalent energy, but why does this also apply to lone pairs? In NH3, for example, there are three N-H bonds and one lone pair. Hence, according to the rules, we need to mix four orbitals and get an sp3 hybridization, but why could we not form the three hydrogen bonds with the three half-filled p orbitals of equivalent energy that nitrogen has already, and then leave the fully filled s orbital as the lone pair? I think it might have to do with the geometry somehow, but I'd like to clarify this.

Hecron
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    Well, it happens like you say with PH3. Hybridization is a mathematical operation to describe how molecules are, not some rule. – Mithoron Oct 19 '23 at 00:14
  • https://chemistry.stackexchange.com/questions/14087/why-is-the-bond-angle-h-p-h-smaller-than-h-n-h – Mithoron Oct 19 '23 at 19:02

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