Trying to prove that nitrogen doesn't split its lone pair to form 5 bonds, I thought of a situation that I couldn't rule out; the paired electron being excited to the 3s orbital, so that five bonds could be formed- in an "$\ce{sp3s}$" hybridisation.
I know hybridisation is just an observation-based explanation, but I'd like to know how to rule wacky situations like this out.
Can this - and all other nonstandard hybridisations you can come up with - be ruled out by reasoning that the electron excitations involved take up too much energy?