2

2 weeks ago I just started a phd abroad (Germany) and I am Brazilian. Previously I was in job that bored me to death and I chose to leave it and come to Germany to live my dream and do a PhD. However, I am feeling that I made a wrong choice. Even if in my field is not so hard to get tenured in Brazil (usually 20 people compete for a position, but only 5 are real competition), I am feeling that I will never be able to achieve my goal. Rationally, I know that I can. But emotionally, I feel incapable. These negatives feelings about my future are making me want to call my former boss back begging for a job. Even if I know that if I choose to back to this job I will be miserable forever.

All these thoughts are keeping my motivations low, because I feel that I am just wasting my time in foreign cold country. How can focus in the present and enjoy? I am already doing therapy. Another thing that bothers me, is that I feel old. I am 29, and because of some personal choices and also because the undergrad plus masters in Brazil take 7 years, I feel very old compared to my europeans colleagues.

Ferreira
  • 29
  • 2
  • You are not that old. At my university, few years back, an 80+ year old received her PhD degree. Wonderful achievement!! – Prof. Santa Claus Apr 26 '22 at 08:58
  • 3
    You are not old for a PhD student at all by German standards. Also, you are hopefully more mature than your young colleagues, which is a clear advantage when doing a PhD. And it's spring in Germany. It will get warmer. –  Apr 26 '22 at 10:44

2 Answers2

2

In regards to age, it's not uncommon to see people at the age of 30+ doing their bachelors. So even if you feel a bit out of place, I promise you nobody thinks of you as a old man doing his phd.

As for motivation, the country can feel very lonely on the outside. But once you know where to look, things can be very different. Where I live, there are meeting places for foreigners to meet up and make friends. If you join clubs (tennis, bouldering, football, ...) you will also have a very easy time meeting people as everyone tends to be very welcoming there. Socialization is a important part of mental health so consider going out and about doing things.

Your motivation and focus should improve alongside your mood.

Edit: I know I mostly suggested physical activities but there are plenty of others as well if you aren't into that. Poetry slams, gaming communities, art clubs, etc.

Squary94
  • 2,056
  • 2
  • 4
  • 10
1

You are not that old - I started a PhD at 40, and then the pandemic hit, so I do understand to some extent the feeling of isolation and being in a slightly different stage of life to others.

Germany will get warmer over the next few months. I personally joined every training session available for PhDs when I started out, so that I could meet people - this energised me, but I know not all people are like that.

I also had small short-term goals to work on, e.g. implement a particular method from an academic paper myself so that I could understand how it worked better. However, I was already excited to be doing a PhD, to have the freedom to set my own goals and "reading list".

I really hope you find some other folks to chat with - perhaps your uni has a good international students community; there will no doubt be other people also feeling the cold, metaphorically as well as physically, with whom you can at least share your story and encourage each other.

Felix U
  • 1,003
  • 7
  • 11