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I am a Ph.D student at the university. Every student has a favourite professor same as mine. I really care about and our student-teacher relationship growing stronger day by day. My professor really cares about my professional/academic growth.

But a few days sooner I heard that the professor has been gone for an extended period of time.I am very confused and don't have any idea how to contact my professor.

Mistakenly I used google and I realized that my professor loses his loved once. I feel really ashamed to break my professor privacy. I know that express condolence is the best way to support your close one who is under deep pain.

I am more worried about to disrespect our teacher-student relationship. I am really confused. Can anyone guide me any positive way to handle this situation?

Kevin Miller
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Trishna
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    Is this what you googeled something one could reasonably come across without "stalking"? (E.g. was it in TV news or rather in a forum about the professor's secret hobby?) – Thomas Oct 21 '19 at 06:09
  • I voted to close as duplicate despite the fact that "express a condolence" is different than "ask a question", since the answer to both is basically "treat the professor like a person, rather than an authority figure" – jakebeal Oct 22 '19 at 20:31
  • Why you think you have to treat a professor differently here in this situation than any other person??? Also, I think it not good at all to think in professional environments in "relationships", respect of course, which you broke by googling and realized yourself. Learn from this. PhD student are to my knowledge grown up adults with an academic title, same is a professor. – user48953094 Nov 21 '19 at 13:14
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    @user48953094: One reason which could or could not play a role in treating a prof differently is that they have a lot of power over the student. (There are countries, e.g in East Asia, where persons in power have to be treated really differently than "any other person".) –  Nov 21 '19 at 15:41
  • @Heutl but you make fallacy by establishiing a norm/difference/rule for something that has no difference by law (working contracts etc., in Germany every employer has the same power and not more than a professor). Posting such "prof" questions on academia.se is highly unproductive I fear and doesn't serve anybody, rather increases this not by law existing dependency. Apart from this condolence is not really a power issue, I voted to close – user48953094 Nov 21 '19 at 15:51
  • @user48953094: Sorry, but I do not understand what the law has to do with this. A prof who feels offened can give you worse grades. (I had a prof who would feel offended if we were not addressing him with all of his titles or if we confused which title cames first.) The answer may (hopefully) be that it is not different to other people. (But a country would be useful.) –  Nov 21 '19 at 16:13

3 Answers3

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If you found this information online then it’s hardly an invasion of privacy (unless of course you hacked his email or something). I wouldn’t worry about that.

If there is a public announcement (an obituary) of a religious service (eg a wake or a shiv’a), you can probably attend as these things are usually open to the public for exactly people like you- distant relatives or acquaintances who wish to comfort the grieving family. For example, if they’re Jewish, it’s customary to bring some simple baked goods (say, cookies) since the family is hosting a seven-day event. I’m not familiar with grieving customs in other religions but that should be easy enough to find out. In these situations your professor would most likely greatly appreciate your presence and the gesture.

If there’s no public announcement then wait for the professor to come back to the university and try to catch them in person to offer your condolences. Again, the gesture would be greatly appreciated I believe.

My condolences...

Spark
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If there's no public announcement, then I don't think that you have violated the professor’s privacy.

I have just assumed it, but I am not sure. Since he hasn't told you anything that means he wouldn't like to talk with you about this. You need to respect his decision. Maybe my answer hurts you but you need to realize this truth. Moreover, your moral duty is to show your sustenance because he lost his trust on you once. Show your sympathy in a sorrowful way.

samraggi singha
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What is the best way to express my condolence to a professor?

You can say, my condolences for your loss. That said, you needn't say anything; it depends on your relationship with the professor.

I know that express[ing] condolence is the best way to [offer] support

You need to consider whether your support will be helpful; support isn't necessary from everyone (indeed it may become burdensome).

user2768
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