OCD and studying

Question

Learning or studying is a huge burden on me and I always feel like I spend 10 times much more effort than any other student to start studying and keep it going. I am struggling with OCD many years and I also saw counseling, took medications etc but never benefited it. I am an engineering student and often fail many things such as exams, assignments or lab work due to my stupid compulsions. I always take studying too seriously and compel myself to be perfect at it(no flaw allowed). I cannot lose my focus, I must learn everything I see or read instantly, I must solve every question at one attempt etc. When I fail to be perfect, I am overrun by great dismotivation which makes me stop studying and procrastinate. I always think that those high achievers, A+ students are nothing but perfect learners and students when they sit down to study. What mindset should I use to trick my brain into accepting imperfections and mistakes?? I have no possibility to see a profession any more, I am on my own

Answer 1

I don't think that people on this forum are likely to be able to give you psychological advice on OCD, and for that matter you will probably get better expertise by directing those questions to psychologists. Having given that caveat, one thing I can certainly say from an academic perspective is that it is simply not true that high-achieving students go through academic material without difficulties, and without making errors. Top students at university usually succeed due to a mixture of innate ability and tenacity - they are willing to keep attacking difficult material, and making mistakes, until it yields to them. Top students often spend large amounts of time studying, doing practice questions, getting some of them wrong, seeking help from their lecturers, etc. They succeed because they are willing to push past the difficulties - not because they don't have difficulties.

As evidence for this basic truth, you should observe that the entire framework of university education assumes that learning core tertiary material takes years of practice, and involves progression standards that generally only require you to get at least half-correctness in assessable material. The material at university is taught and assessed on the basis that it requires long periods of practice, error, contemplation, correction, more error, and then finally (partial) understanding. Even top students do not generally sail through courses with grades near one-hundred percent. Material is generally difficult during the courses where it is first introduced, and the earlier material gradually seems easier as you progress further through your education. By the time your progress through a few years of university, the material taught in first-year starts to become more automated and intuitive, and you find that material that was previously difficult now seems easier. (Similarly, look back at the basic arithmetic and algebra you were taught in primary school and high school. Looking back, it now seems quite simple compared to what you are studying now.)

It seems that you are already aware of this on a conscious level, but you are nonetheless exhibiting a "fear of failure" (what psychologists sometimes call fear of negative evaluation). This appears to be causing you to behave in a way that precludes repeated attempts at difficult material in the face of failure. In short, you appear to be engaging in a form of self-sabotage that prevents you having the tenacity that is necessary for success. I cannot speak to the psychology of OCD, but I am suspicious of any viewpoint that would assert that you have to "trick" yourself into success. Rather than trying to "trick your own brain" it is much better to stop tricking yourself --- re-evaluate your false idea of how success is achieved (i.e., without any difficulty or error) and adapt your thinking and actions to the reality of what is required for success.

Since I'm not a psychologist, that brief pep-talk is all I can really offer. However, there are many resources available giving advice on managing and overcoming fear of failure. These might help you get started.